How I work
Relational Psychotherapy that goes beneath the surface
Therapy that starts with you
I don’t believe therapy is about being told what to do. It’s about having the space to understand yourself more fully — your relationships, your patterns, and the experiences that have shaped you.
We’ll start with what brings you to therapy, but we don’t have to assume that’s the whole story. Together, we can begin to notice what may be harder to see at first, including the things that may be harder to put into words.
I bring my training and experience, and you bring your honesty, and what it's like to be you.
Change happens in relationship
Understanding why we do what we do can be powerful, but sometimes knowing isn’t enough.
The patterns we experience in relationships can also find their way into therapy. When they do, we have an opportunity to notice them together, with curiosity.
The relationship we build gives us a safe place, not only to understand familiar patterns, but to experience something different.
There is room to be honest, to get things wrong, to disagree, to find your voice and to try new ways of relating, at your own pace.
What this asks of us
This isn’t quick-fix therapy. We’ll usually meet at the same time weekly, because deeper relational work benefits from consistency and continuity.
We’re not simply looking for ways to make difficult feelings disappear. We’ll take the time to understand what may be driving those feelings, reactions or patterns. That kind of work asks for patience and commitment from both of us.
I’m warm, direct and human. I offer empathy and understanding, and when it fits, a little irreverence too. Therapy can be serious without becoming solemn.
I’m not interested in pretending there are neat answers to complicated lives. Sometimes the work is uncomfortable, sometimes funny, sometimes frustrating, and sometimes surprisingly ordinary. We’ll pay attention to all of it.
Sessions take place at The Cottage in Surbiton, or online
What informs my practice
I practise as a Relational Integrative Psychotherapist, which means my work is informed by a range of psychological theories rather than being confined to one particular model.
At its foundation is the person-centred thinking of Carl Rogers, with its emphasis on empathy, authenticity and acceptance. Alongside this, attachment theory, particularly the work of John Bowlby, helps me think about how our earliest relationships can influence our sense of self and the ways we connect with others throughout life.
I also draw on psychodynamic and object-relations theory, including the work of Donald Winnicott, to consider the less conscious aspects of our emotional lives and how earlier experiences can become internalised and carried forward.
Existential thinking, including the work of Irvin Yalom & Viktor Frankl brings another dimension: questions of meaning, identity, responsibility, uncertainty and what it means to live authentically.
My approach also recognises that our experiences are not held only in the mind. I am interested in somatic and neurobiological perspectives, such as work by Alan Schore, Deb Dana & Steve Porges. I understand the relationship between our emotional lives, our bodies and our nervous systems.
I hold these different perspectives lightly rather than using them as a formula. They provide different lenses through which we can make sense of your experience, while keeping you, rather than any particular theory, at the centre of the work.